


A long way to go

by juli3



Series: Carina & Maya - Their journey [1]
Category: Station 19 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:02:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27914239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juli3/pseuds/juli3
Summary: "I thought we are living together!" Carina was storming into the bedroom after they had breakfast with Andy a few minutes ago. Maya who was making their bed gave her a confused look "But...we are? What are you talking about?"This story is set after 4x03.Maya and Carina have a lot of work to do to overcome their issues and to fix their relationship. And I really mean it, when I say 'a lot' - with all the unforeseeable things that will happen.
Relationships: Maya Bishop & Carina DeLuca, Maya Bishop/Carina DeLuca
Series: Carina & Maya - Their journey [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2072592
Comments: 57
Kudos: 342





	1. I thought we are living together!

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone. I know that many of us were disappointed after the last episode of station 19 (4x03) and how they were setting the hopes up to get marina-content with several promo pics and all it was at the end were about 40 seconds of screentime. So I've decided to write down how I thought it should continue. Starting with I guess sometime after the end of 4x03. The focus will be more on Carinas point of view.
> 
> I'm not sure how many parts this story will have at the end, but I have some ideas, so lets just how it goes.

"I thought we are living together!" Carina was storming into the bedroom after they had breakfast with Andy a few minutes ago. Maya who was making their bed gave her a confused look "But...we are? What are you talking about?" She was getting worried. Why was Carina so mad all of the sudden.

And then it started. It was the first time in their relationship that Carina broke loose. She just lost it. Everything that built up in the weeks and month after Maya cheated on her needed to get out of her. The trigger was Maya asking Andy to move in with them without even talking to her first, and deep down she knew that it was just Maya helping her best friend, but this one time at that exact moment she felt the need to put herself first and set free everything she kept for herself all this time. So when Maya asked her what she was talking about, Carina new that she might risk breaking this still fragile renewed relationship, but not taking care of her own needs all the time had to stop at this moment.

"What am I talking about? How about you asking Andy to move in with us, without asking me for my opinion? Or should I say 'moving in with you'? Do you really think I don't notice how you look at my stuff all the time like I was invading your space? Sure, I wanted to ask you to move in together too, but to remind you... you asked me first. You wanted me here and of course if I really live here I'm bringing my things. And if you don't like something I bring or where I put my stuff, you have to talk to me. I can see that something is going on, but I can't read minds Maya! And to be honest. I have to process so many things at the moment – my brother, me loosing patients, still having you cheating on me in my thoughts all the time although I try so hard not to, believe me, not to mention the freaking pandemic – I simply don't have the power to make you understand that you asking me to move in with me is more than saying 'I don't want to just basically do anything with you, I want to do everything for real'. Yes Maya, I've listened to every word you've said, and it warmed my heart, but nice words mean nothing if they aren't followed with actions. I'm tired, I'm mad and I simply can't keep this happy-relaxed-emotionally-stable-Carina-face around you anymore. I need some time to think if it was the right decision to get back to you so quickly before we even talked properly about what happened the night you slept with someone else. Maya, I love you with all my heart, and I want this...us... to work but I'm not sure if it will, if we keep going like this. Pretending everything is fine, when the both of us have doubts. I know you struggle, and so do I. I don't know where to go from here, but I need some time for myself. I also don't know how we do it since - and wow that's some irony – I just moved in with you. But Maya, this time I'm asking you to give me space. I'm sleeping on the couch in my office at Greys tonight, I'm sorry... I... I need to get out of here!"

And with that Carina grabbed some clothes, left the bedroom and shortly after their apartment.

Maya was sitting on the bed, trying to understand what just happened. Her body was kind of frozen, she couldn't move. Her thoughts were spinning and she tried to get out of this spiral. After some time that felt like hours she whispered "I love you Carina" and Maya started shaking. She realized that it was on her to find a way to fix it. She needed to figure out how. She was Captain Maya Bishop and she always found a way. At least that was what she was trying to tell herself, but then her thoughts went back to Carinas face which was covered in tears when she left their room and all she did was break down and starting to cry. She was crying for herself but mostly she cried for Carina and how hard it must have been for her keeping all of her feelings inside only for Maya to feel better. Carina who she was loving so deeply she didn't even know she could feel this way. Carina who was in so much pain. Carina who she hurt with her broken self. Carina...


	2. Please, I'm begging you to stay

Instead of just one Carina spent two nights in the hospital since there were several emergencies and she couldn't leave. She was thankful that she hadn't lost another mom in this shift. Now she was ready to go home and face whatever was waiting for her there. She was still proud of herself that she said the things she said, but at the same time she was worried of what would happen next. Maya didn't call or text her. Not once. She had asked her for space, so maybe she just wanted to give her, that but was that really the reason? Or did Maya really regret the decision to ask Carina to move in with her.

All these thoughts were going through her mind when she opened the door to Mayas apartment. And then she was stunned. It looked completely different compared to two and a half days ago. She walked in and looked around. All the boxes were placed in one corner of the living room. The bookshelves looked rearranged and she recognized some of her own books as well as some of her art placed nicely next to them. Next, she went to kitchen and saw lots of empty jars of various sizes. While she still wondered why they were put there she heard a noise coming from the bedroom. It sounded like Maya was talking to someone and Carina quietly walked towards the open door. And there she was. Maya. Not talking to someone else but to herself. It looked like wanted to move the bed, but it didn't work the way she wanted.

"What are you doing?" Carina asked and Maya jumped a little.

"Carina, you're here." Maya stated the obvious and a small smile lightened up her stressed face. But soon after that smile disappeared and with a shaky voice she asked "Are you picking up more clothes? I can leave the room for you to have space. Just pretend you didn't see me" And with that she was about to leave but Carina stopped her by gently holding her arm. Her heart was beating a bit faster once she noticed how determined Maya was to give her what she had asked for. Beating faster in a good way. She softly said "Don't leave. Tell me, what are you doing?" and sat on the side of the bad and patted to the spot next to her.

Maya joined her but Carina noticed the gap Maya left between the two of them.

"When you left I was done for the day. I asked Andy to cover for me and stayed home. My plan was to go back to bed and cry all day. You were right. Your stuff laying all over the place bothered me. But then I looked around and it hit me. I didn't even make the effort to clear some space for you. You have your drawer in the bedroom but everything else was still 'my' stuff in 'my' apartment. So I moved some things around and put them away to make room for you. In the bathroom, in here and the living room. I know you love to cook and since I don't have that much supplies and I saw people storing their rice and noodles and basically anything in glass jars I went and got some, if you don't like them I'll bring them back. To give you the idea of how it could look like with the both of us really living here together I placed some of your books in the shelf. Please don't be mad at me. I didn't went through your things to invade your privacy, I left your boxes the way they were, but since you've unpacked some things I thought it was okay to put them in there." Maya rambled.

Carina, blown away by the word she just heard took Mayas hand to calm her down, because she was feeling that Maya was spiraling up. "Maya, slow down. Now tell me, what's up with moving the bed?"

With that Maya carefully moved closer and continued. "I was worried you will leave me and I still am, but I wanted to show you that actions do follow my words. I wanted to finish this for so long now and I was angry at myself that I didn't make the time to do this." And with that she pointed at the opposite wall of the bedroom and Carina gasped

"That's my...how?" and here eyes filled with tears while she stared at a large framed painting of her grandmothers garden in Sicily.

"When you told me about your childhood and that one of your favorite places was your grandmas I saw the look on your face and how happy you looked at that memory. So at a moment when you weren't paying attention I took one of the photographs and gave it to a local artist to have her make an enlarged painting of it. It was supposed to be a present. I have it here for a while now but I never made the time to get it framed. Yesterday I did so and today I put it on the wall. I wanted to move the bed to directly face this painting, with the hope of you coming back, that whenever you wake up seeing this painting you feel home. Not only home with me, but home."

The tears are now rolling down Carinas face and she was lost for words. Maya closed the distance and was now sitting next to her and carefully pulling Carina towards her, so that she could lay her head on her shoulder.

"Carina I know I messed up, and I know we're far from good. But please don't give up on me. Please. I promise to do better and to continue to work on myself. I'm sorry about not asking you if its okay for Andy to stay here for a while. And I promise to not make this about me and my issues all the time. I was selfish. I didn't ask about Andrea because since I cannot really talk about my feelings and things that bother me, I assumed you didn't want to as well. It didn't cross my mind that even me asking you would make a difference. And Carina when you're losing patients you don't have to hold that from me because you think you have to be the strong one around me all the time. I can take this. I love you and I want to comfort you as well. Please stay. Please, I'm begging you to stay."


	3. I think we´ve moved on too fast

“Please I´m begging you to stay”

Those words kept repeating in Carinas mind. Seeing Maya this vulnerable made her love her even more. The anger, disappointment and sadness she felt two days ago and - if she was being honest to herself - she was feeling for months now were all still there, but at least now she had more hope than ever, that they have an actual future together.

She got up and walked towards the painting. She was still amazed. Never had anyone done something like this for her.

“Come here Maya” she said and then the both of them were standing in front of the painting, holding hands and Carina told Maya more stories from her childhood and how safe she felt when she visited her grandmother. She could be a child there without having to worry about her parents or her brother. She could just be herself without being on alert all the time because something could happen. At her grandmothers she was free.

Mayas heart broke for Carina when she saw her remembering her past. The good and the bad. And it broke even more when she thought about how insensitive she was all this time. She had never asked her about more details. She knew that she´d moved to the US for her brother and she was selfishly happy for herself that Carina did so, but she never asked her more about the life she´d left behind. How she was handling being away from the rest of her family and friends back home. How it was for her in a foreign country. Did she still dream in Italian? So many questions ran trough Mayas mind and she was so mad at herself that she hasn’t thought about them before. Was she so occupied with herself all this time, that she forgot to be decent human being or was it that she´d never learned that level of empathy?

Maya got out of her thoughts and turned to face Carina who was still in awe of the painting. She took all the courage she got and asked “Carina, where do we go from here?”

Carina, now facing her too, shrug her shoulders “To be completely honest – and that should be one thing we´re doing from now on: being honest with each other – I don´t know. I think we´ve moved on too fast. As much as I love you, and I do, I don´t trust you anymore. And I´m not saying I will never do so again, but at the moment I just don’t. I told you not to be alone in a room with Jack although I know that it´s stupid, he is your colleague and your friend and you need to work together. And it is just one thing I´ve never wanted to become. A jealous woman telling her girlfriend to stay away from her ex. And this lack of trust is keeping me from telling you things that bother me because I´m constantly afraid that you could keep running towards someone else again. Deep down I believe and hope you will never do this again, but my heart isn´t there yet Maya. You broke my heart”

Maya felt so small at that moment. She didn´t know what to do. They were still holding hands and all she wanted to do was to hug Carina tight to show her that she was there for her and that she never would do something stupid and hurtful again. Never. But she felt that Carina still needed her space and all she wanted to do was to put her girlfriends needs before her own. She swallowed hard “I understand. I know you probably want to move out again, but I don´t want you to be alone. Since I offered Andy to stay in the guestroom, I´m so sorry I asked her without telling you first, she can keep you company. So the both of you have someone to come home to and neither of you have to be lonely after work. I´ll sleep at the station to give you all the space you need. “

“Maya don´t. You don´t have to sleep at the station. I don´t want you to be alone either. We´ll figure it all out, but we have to keep it slow. Baby steps. Okay? I´m not going to leave you, but I´m not ready to give you my all. I wish to get there again but it will take me some time. “

With that she was leaving the room to unpack more of her things because after all she was living there now.

Maya exhaled strongly, because she was holding her breath the whole time.

She was relieved. She hadn´t screwed up everything completely. All she wanted to do was to show Carina that she was actually willing to change. She was thinking about the first steps she could take and while she tried to remember where she had put Dr. Lewis number Carinas head peaked around the doorframe.

“And thank you for bringing a little bit of Sicily to our home, Bella”


	4. She´s not leaving me

It´s been a few days since Carina told Maya she was going to stay and Maya told herself multiple times now "She´s not leaving me". She had called Dr. Lewis to ask her if she had time for a session or if she could recommend another therapist, but everyone she called was fully booked. The pandemic made more people seek for help and since the capacities were low even before there was a virus shutting the whole world down, there was not a single spot available before the end of January. Maya took it. Dr. Lewis suggested online therapy but Maya didn´t want to share her past with a stranger via the internet. At least she wanted to sit in the same room with this person. Since even her calling Dr. Lewis to ask for an appointment made her feel anxious, she was relieved to wait a couple more weeks to do the actual work and to have some time to mentally prepare herself for therapy.

But Maya was trying her best to still show Carina that she was doing everything to gain back her trust and that she was working hard to keep their relationship.

Carina noticed the changes Maya made and that she was trying. She has gotten a little softer. With everything going on during her hard shifts she never forgot to ask Carina how her day went, she asked more questions than before, wanted to know more about her work, her colleagues, her life in general. But not only her. Carina could watch Maya and Andy fixing her friendship. They were having a long talk in the kitchen while Carina was reading her book in the living room and sometimes when her thoughts wandered and she caught some of the words being said she was happy for the both of them to catch up with all the things they´ve missed about each other’s lives and to slowly get their friendship back.

Andy was a great roommate. Carina enjoyed her being around. The had a game night, which was fun. Just the three of them because they were a little cluster now. They were in this together. They even started a little home-workout group for the few times the three of them were home at the same time, and Andy and Carina were always making fun of Maya for pushing them so hard.  
She also had a deep talk with Andy alone, about Robert and how she was facing the dead of her father and the sudden reappearance of her mother. And it was also nice for her to have someone who was not her girlfriend or her colleague to talk about her brother and her father. She needed to get at least some of it off her chest to someone who wasn´t directly involved. And Andy was a really good listener.

She and Maya slept in the same bed which was now facing the beautiful gift Maya gave her, but they weren’t sleeping together. Sometimes they were holding hands under the sheets when one of them had a particularly hard day and she enjoyed that human touch which was so rare in this time, but they did nothing more, she wasn´t there yet.

Since Maya was always getting up earlier than Carina, she found herself waking up hugging Carina a few times. But every time she carefully moved away without waking.

One morning as she sat up it hit her: it was December and their first Christmas was getting closer. She imagined herself and Carina under a tree and they were exchanging presents. She imagined the smell of the pie that Carina would make, both of them full from all the good food they ate and she even heard the music that they would be listening too. At least that what she thought Christmas could look like and how happy she could be. Maya didn´t have any happy memories of the holidays. Because she was on a strict diet all the time, she couldn´t eat any of the fancy holiday food. Her dad also thought it would soften her to get presents, so at best she got some new running shoes, because she ‘still hadn´t reached her maximum and maybe those shoes would get her there’. Because of that, later she had always chosen to cover the holiday shifts, because she didn´t want to see her mom cry at the end of the evening, because her brother wasn´t there, and she didn´t want to see her dad get mad at her mom for crying. Now that she thought about all of that she really questioned herself: why did she still love her dad all this time, or at least she thought she loved him? Why did it take her hurting the one and only love she ever had in the worst way and her dad pulling her damn hair for her to recognize who he really was? Like always when she was in this mode her thoughts were spiraling up, she couldn´t get out of her head. She remembered things, made up scenarios, couldn´t focus her sight. Maya was stuck.

Carina woke up to Maya hyperventilating next to her. She was instantly wide awake. Maya didn´t have a panic attack in front of her since they were together again, but before they broke up, she had a couple of them and Carina knew what to do. She crawled to Mayas side of the bed and knelt before her. She took her head in hands, brought her closer and calling her name. “Maya. Look at me. Breathe Maya, Breathe.”

And Maya finally did. She was back. They stayed like this for a couple more minutes, staring at each others eyes and all Maya wanted to do was to hug Carina. But she kept herself from crossing this line. It was Carinas choice to make this next step. So all she did was squeezing Carinas hands lightly and thanking her. She got up and went to the bathroom to finally quietly cry the tears she was holding back.

Carina was still sitting on the bed and she felt so sorry for Maya. She knew the both of them had night shifts today but for day after she wanted to do a little something, something for just the two of them. She thought about a nice afternoon walk at the nearby park, just the two of them. She was thinking about finally telling Maya the full story about her brother.

Little did she know what would happen in the next 24 hours.


	5. 3 years later

3 years later…

There was this small house at the end of a little town somewhere at the coast of California. It was near the beach and it had a beautiful garden with all the pretty flowers one could imagine. A car was driving down the street. Making a stop at the house and Carina got off the car “bye, see you tomorrow”.

She went inside, put her purse next to the door, kicked off her shoes and went to the kitchen to make herself dinner. She decided to make a salad with some cheese on the side. She was working in this small hospital in the city next to hers. Since the community was so small and there were not that many cases a day, she and her colleagues got to eat lunch together very often. She liked her new colleagues and they often carpooled like they did today, she was getting to the point where she told herself “this really could become my place to live, this could be my actual home”. She took her meal together with a glass of white wine and went to the living room. She passed the wall where she often stopped to look at the painting of her grandmothers place in Sicily. The painting she loved so much.

She sat down, lit a candle and put on some music. Then she looked at the shelf with all the photos of people she loved, got up and took one picture with her. The picture that reminded her of the day her whole life turned upside down.

The picture of her brother whose disease killed him the exact same day three years ago.

It wasn´t suicide and he didn´t die that day, but exactly on that day three years ago during a manic episode Andrea overworked. The hospital didn´t care. They were in the middle of the pandemic and they needed everyone who was available. No one could tell her afterwards how long he actually was awake and how long he had worked. No one was paying attention to that. When he finally left the hospital that day to go home to get some sleep, he was so tired that he was distracted and got into a car accident. He was severely injured and was put in a medical induced coma as soon as he got to the hospital. Andrea died the day after Christmas.

His funeral was soon after. Only few people could come due to the still ongoing contact restrictions. She stood at his grave long after everyone else left. She had no more tears left to cry. Maya tried to get her home, but she didn´t move. So Maya stepped back and waited for her to be ready. She couldn´t remember how much time has passed, but it was getting dark when they finally left the graveyard.

Maya was trying to comfort her, she was saying soft loving words, asked her what she could do, but the grieve was just too overwhelming. Maya couldn´t help her.

They tried. They really tried to fix their relationship and to overcome this. They did everything they could. Maya went to therapy by the end of January to deal with her past and all of her issues. Carina started soon after because she wasn´t finding her way back to live her normal life. As soon as Andy got back to Robert, Carina moved to the guestroom. She couldn´t have anyone physically near her. Maya and Carina even went to couple’s therapy, but at the end after six hard months the inevitable had to happen. They split up. Maya begged her to stay, begged her to keep trying, begged her to keep loving her. But Carina couldn´t. Her little brother was dead. It broke her to see Maya like this but she couldn´t stand Seattle anymore. Too many sad memories, all she felt was that her heart couldn´t heal in this surrounding. She had to leave. She quit her job at Grey Sloan and Baily was the only one who she gave her new address. Since international travelling was still restricted and she wasn´t really sure if she wanted to go back to Italy forever, she moved to California. It was warm, and she had the ocean. The beautiful ocean. She felt that was what she needed for her soul.

Maya texted and called her, but she never answered. She needed to disconnect. The texts were getting less and after a couple of months Maya stopped trying to contact her.

For the first weeks she had enough money on her account to slow down living. But she still felt the need to help people and she really loved her job, so she got an employment in the small hospital. In addition, she assisted with homebirths whenever a doctor was needed. She liked that everything was calmer, she didn´t miss the rush of the very large hospital in the big city.

One year after she moved there, she had a short affair with one of her neighbors. It wasn´t something real. She made it clear at the beginning and he was fine with it. She thought that she needed the physical contact but after all she was glad to be alone again.

Of course, her thoughts went back to Maya every now then. Her beautiful Maya. She missed her. Deep down she knew she still loved her and by then she had long forgiven her for sleeping with Jack. She had made up the words she´d say if she´d ever see her again, but she knew that she needed to put herself first. She needed to heal. She was still grieving. And she told herself that it was better for the both of them to cut it off and to give them both the chance to get better.

After one and a half year she got a dog to keep her company and for her to have someone to take care of. Betty was the cutest dog she could ever think of. She was a rescue. A maltipoo – a breed she never heard of before - but she was instantly in love with her personality and how cute she looked.

Now that travelling was possible again, she went back to Italy and took Betty with her. She stayed there for a couple of weeks but she couldn´t see herself living there again. Maybe when she was old, but not for now. So, she went back and got back to work and to her new life in California.

She was living in her new house for more than two years by then, slowly building friendships and she even tried a new relationship with a woman she met at a local farmers market, but after about three months they broke up without hard feelings.

Betty kept her active. They went on hikes together, explored their surrounding and Carina was feeling better. She could feel happiness again. And on more and more days she felt like her old self again. Of course she missed her brother. And Maya. And sometimes her crazy life in Seattle, but she realized without her moving away she wasn´t sure if she would have found herself ever again.

Her thoughts went back less often. But anniversaries like the day she first talked to Maya in bar, or the day of her first day at Grey Sloan or Andreas accident brought back memories. The good and the bad ones. Like this evening. She had finished her salad, she was drinking her wine, Betty was curled up next to her and she was thinking about the times when she was a kid and before her mother took Andrea and left her with her father and how happy that period of her childhood was, when all of the sudden she heard a car getting closer.

Since it was the middle of the night by now, she wondered who that could be. There was basically no one driving around this town at night. Never. She wondered even more when she heard the car slowing down while getting closer to her house. She got up and opened her front door. She was blinded by the headlights. But once the car stopped, they were turned off and she saw a woman with long hair approaching her. It was Andy

“Carina you need do come back to Seattle!” Carina immediately knew something was wrong by the look on Andys face. She let her in and with a trembling voice she asked “What happened to her?”


	6. Carina was gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will tell Mayas story starting 6 months after Andreas dead, the time when Carina left Seattle.

_The day Carina gave her back her keys_

One last time she tried to convince her that she was worth it. That she would do anything for her to stay, but with a sad look on her face Carina said with a soft voice “Maya”. Carina got closer to her as if she wanted to grab her hand, but she stopped herself doing so “we´ve talked about this. It´s not your fault. It´s us. It doesn´t work anymore. We´ve tried for six months now. Six months since my brother had died. I know you did the best you could. And so did I. My love for you can´t compensate the emptiness I´m feeling. At this point, it wouldn´t be fair to neither of us if I would stay. If I would keep up your hopes. If I would not let you make the progress you deserve. I need to get out of this city, Maya. I need to heal. Maya, we need this break up, and if we don´t do it now, time will destroy us completely.” Tears were now running down her face. Maya was lost for words. She was in this weird state where she thought all of this must be a dream. It couldn´t be real that the love of her life was going to leave her now. It still felt like a dream when Carina gave her the keys, grabbed her last box and left without turning around one last time. She could hear Carina start sobbing while she closed the door and that was it for Maya. She collapsed on the floor crying like she never did before. She didn’t know where to go from here. Carina was gone.

_Two months later_

With the help of her therapist and her friends Maya was slowly feeling better. Work distracted her and Andy and Vic even got her to go out with them once in a while now that the bars are open again. But as soon as she got back home her loneliness crushed her almost always. Her apartment felt empty without Carina. The warmth was gone. There were still empty shelves. She couldn´t bring herself to fill Carinas space. She often texted Carina, told her about her days and that she loved her. Even without getting any replies or knowing if Carina even read her texts, she felt the need to do so. She also tried to call her a few times after she had tough sessions at therapy or something crazy happened at work but Carina didn´t answer. Without success she even tried Baily to give her Carinas new address to go and bring her back.

She was getting frustrated. Questioning herself if their love was real. Deep down she knew it was, but why did Carina leave her then? Why did she stop trying? She wanted to help Carina with her grieve but she didn´t let her in anymore.

Together with going trough everything happened in her past, her father, her mother, her brother, she felt smaller than she ever felt before.

Her therapist suggested journaling. But it wasn´t for Maya. All she wrote in the notebook she got was “this is stupid”. But she kept going to therapy. Because even if at first she started going there for Carina, she felt that it changed something in her, no matter how hard it was. She still didn´t feel good. She was far from that point. But realizing all this stuff and questioning some of her decisions, made her want to change. For herself. For her health. For the little girl Maya who was pushed by her father to accomplish the nearly impossible without letting her be the child she deserved to be.

_Six months later_

Maya had stopped contacting Carina. She had to accept the fact that it was over. She still loved her but she did everything she could. It hurt too much to hope that maybe one day she would answer. So she deleted Carinas number.

Christmas was getting closer. And after all that happened last year and what consequences it had on her life, she decided to work on Christmas like she always did. Although her relationship with her mother, who finally divorced her father, had improved, she couldn´t bring herself to celebrate with her. She needed to distract herself. And since her crew felt like her real family more than ever, she was more than fine with it. It was a quiet shift with only a few Christmas trees on fire, but nothing serious and no one was hurt.

She now went to therapy once a month and thought she should stick to it. She felt that she made progress. Maybe she could be in peace with herself one day.

_One year later_

It hit her that evening that today one year has passed since Carina had left her. She was back to “monogamy is for the weak” and had the occasional hook-ups now and then. Nothing serious and she was fine with it. She had fallen in love that one time in her life, and she loved Carina so much, she didn´t think there was anyone who she could ever love the same way. And seeing the outcome, which completely shattered her heart, she told herself to never get that vulnerable ever again. At least when it was concerning her love life. With Andy, Vic and even the guys she had meaningful conversations. Bit by bit she told them about her past and why she made some of her questionable choices in life. She also met with her mother regularly now and she enjoyed having a mom. Work was fine. She was still the Captain of Station 19 and over all she was happy. Of course, there were moments when she thought of the time with Carina in her life or she imagined how her life would look like if she wouldn´t have made this stupid mistake or if Andrea wouldn´t be dead. But she needed to protect herself, so she blocked these thoughts the best she could and the more time has passed, the more positive Maya felt about herself.

One night after gamenight when Andy stayed to help her to tidy up her apartment, they ended up on the couch and talked about anything and everything. It was the evening Maya told Andy about her biggest fear. The fear of dying alone one day. That everyone would find their person at one point in their life, and that she had lost that person. That she had her chance and she screwed it. Andy told her that she didn´t think that this would be the case, but either way she would be there for Maya and that they would take care of each other. They would be those grumpy old ladies who would complain about too much noise all the time. Maya was very happy to have Andy back in her life and she felt that with everything the went through and that they still managed to be friends, they would always find a way.

_Two and a half years later  
_

It was a five alarm fire. Everyone was called in. This large factory area was on fire and it took what felt like forever for anyone in charge to tell the fire fighters what exactly they were dealing with.

After long hours they managed to slow the burning down and keep it as a controlled fire. They were now able to carefully scan the buildings. The plan was to let the middle burn to the ground and try to keep the outer buildings.

All the crews split up, and Maya went with her team since the area was so very large and they just needed everyone inside. They scanned the building and everything looked fine, flames were in control and not a single person seemed to be inside. Then Maya thought she saw something moving out of the corner of her eye, and she told her team that she was taking a look and that she would catch up. She only moved away to go to the next room, checked every corner and there was nothing. She must have seen something which clearly wasn´t there. Relieved that no one was inside she turned around to leave the building. And then it happened. A burning beam was crashing down and landed directly on her. She was stuck, she felt that something was really wrong with her left arm and she saw the flames getting bigger and bigger and it was getting hotter and hotter. Breathing was getting hard and all she thought was: “I don´t want to die alone”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for all your comments and the kudos. I really like where this story is going. I hope to upload the next chapter soon. I promise, it will be worth the wait.


	7. What happened to her?

With a trembling voice she asked “What happened to her?”

Andy told Carina everything about the fire and Mayas accident. The crew was still close so they saw the beam fall on their captain. They saw her stuck and the flames getting bigger. It took them a while, and they didn´t know if they would get her out in time. It was scary because it seemed like the whole building was starting to collapse. But they did. They saved her. Maya survived. She was unconscious when they finally got her out, she had some pretty bad burns all over her body and something was clearly wrong with her left arm. But she was alive.

“Maya is alive.” Carina started crying at this point. She had feared the worst and hearing Andy saying those words – she´d she just couldn´t hold her tears anymore. It was relief, feeling bad for Maya having to go trough this, it was a mix of everything. All the feelings she still had for Maya suddenly reappeared from deep down where she kept them. And she was overwhelmed by all of them and how hard they hit her. But as soon as her thoughts were clearing up again and rational Carina was back, she was asking herself why Andy came to her. Clearly something was still wrong with Maya.

“How is she doing now? And why did you come here? She has you guys, you´re her friends, you´re her family. And maybe there´s even a new partner in her life. Why me? I left her at the lowest point of my life. I left her in the middle of a pandemic. I left her although I knew she loved me and I loved her. I don´t think she wants to see me ever again. I know it was the only right thing to do at this time, but I left her.”

Andy starred at her while Carina was telling her that she thought Maya wouldn´t want to see her again.

“Carina. She´s far from fine. She regained consciousness after a few days. She will keep some scars and she will need some skin transplants, but that will heal. Her arm on the other hand is so damaged that we don´t know if she will be ever going on the field with us again or if she will be bound to her desk for the rest of her career. You know Maya. She is devastated. Not knowing what will happen to her, not knowing if she can have control over her body like she always had, is freaking her out. She loves her job more than almost anything. So she stopped eating. She says by losing her job, she will lose the next important anchor of her life and she won´t make it. She stopped tying. She shut down. Carina. Please as Mayas best friend I´m begging you to come to Seattle with me. It´s been 4 weeks since the accident by now and we don´t know what to do anymore. It seems like her spirit is broken. She´s not Maya anymore. We´re worried, I´m worried that we´re going to lose her and I just cannot lose her. I know that you´re the only one to help her get out of this state of mind. So please come with me and try to help her overcome this. Please.”

“But Andy, I…”

“Carina, she never stopped loving you”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this was a short 'in between' chapter, but it was necessary for the storyline to continue.  
> Next chapter will be longer again, I promise.
> 
> Carina and Maya will meet again after three years - finally. What do you think will happen?
> 
> I´m slowly getting to the end of this story. And I know where I want it to end but if you have suggestions or wishes of what I should include please tell me :)


	8. Did she still love her too?

Carina had invited Andy to stay over night and offered her the guestroom. It was late, Andy drove all day to get to her and she needed to think about everything.

When she was laying in her bed that evening, Betty cuddled on her side, her thoughts went crazy: “Maya never stopped loving you.” Was it true? Did Maya still love her? Andy had told her about the progress Maya had made, that she was a fantastic captain for their station and that she found a way to build stable relationships with her friends and even her mom. She also told her that Maya wasn´t seeing anyone in particular and that she was still going to therapy once a month. Carina was so proud of her. Proud of Maya that she had continued to work on herself even after Carina left. She was proud of her that she did it for herself and not for someone else.  
But what about herself? What about her feelings for Maya? Did she still love her too? She always made herself believe she liked being alone for this long time now because she wanted to keep her freedom, her free spirit and she simply hadn´t found the one yet. But was it possible that all this time ‘her one’ was in Seattle? That ‘her one’ was currently in a hospital bed slowly loosing her will for life? She knew she would only find the answers to those questions, if she would come with Andy to Seattle. And she knew she wanted to help Maya no matter what. Carina fell into a restless sleep.

The next morning Carina had to make some calls to organize her absence. Her boss at the clinic didn´t even ask her for an explanation. She told her “Carina, I know you for over two years now. If you tell me you have to deal with an emergency, it´s fine, no questions asked. I got you covered. Take all the time you need. I hope everything works out.” Carina was feeling so lucky that she had found this place. Once more she felt that this little town was getting her home. She loved the people there. Everything was so much more personal and people really wanted to help each other without expecting favors in return.

What she didn´t love was the large amount of time it would take them to drive to Seattle. She had just learned that Andy had a fear of flying, which was the reason she came by car. But Andy offered to drive her to the next airport so she could get to Seattle faster. She also suggested to take Betty with her on the road. It was less stressful for the dog and Carina wouldn´t have to worry about where to put her once she would land in Seattle and couldn´t bring her to the hospital. Carina was so thankful and she took Andys offer.

On her flight all kinds of thoughts went through her head. It sounded wrong but she was glad that Maya was in a special clinic where they were treating burn victims. She was thankful for Baily for giving Andy her new address, but before dealing with her old colleagues she wanted all of her focus on Maya. Carina was trying not to make up scenarios about how Maya would react. She was afraid that she didn´t want to talk to her at all. Or that she would be mad at her. Or… But she would soon find out. In the early evening she arrived in Seattle and went straight to the clinic.

The nurses were very nice and understanding. She told them that she was a friend of Maya and that she was a doctor herself and that she knew that she had to be very careful to avoid infections. Since they had no restrictions on visiting hours and Andy called before and gave them Carinas name they told her Mayas room number without hesitation.

Carina went through the hallway to Mayas room. It was like a time lapse and slow motion at the same time. She didn´t know what to expect. She was going to see Maya again. It had been more than two years since she left her. She was excited and afraid at the same time. Carina took some deep breaths and knocked on the door. Nothing. She tried again and still no one told her to come in. So, she took all the courage she had and opened the door.

Maya was sleeping. Carina was shocked when she saw Maya. She could instantly tell that she was having a bad dream by the look of Mayas face. She was her Maya, but at the same time she wasn´t. Her hair, which was now long again, was a mess. Her arms, her strong arms were so skinny, Carina was afraid to see the rest of her body which was covered under the blankets. Andy had told her she had stopped eating, but Carina wasn´t expecting it to be this bad and that she was losing weight this fast. Her left forearm was in a construct which was supposed to hold it still and help it heal, and although she was a doctor herself, all the screws sticking into Mayas arm made her feel so sorry for her and it was like she felt all of Mayas pain herself. And although Maya was asleep Carina could tell how tired she was. It crushed her to see Maya like this.

She took a chair and put it next to her bed. She quietly sat down and took Mayas right hand into her own and carefully caressed the back of her hand. She didn´t know how much time has passed but she was getting really tired. Instead of going to Andys and Roberts house like they had planned before, Carina put the chair closer to Mayas bed and tried to make herself a bit more comfortable. Once she found a position where she thought she could find at least a little bit of sleep, she closed her eyes and whispered “I´m here for you Maya. I´m not leaving.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for your nice comments and the kudos. I really appreciate them :)


	9. Was it really her?

Maya woke up in the middle of the night because she had to use the bathroom. With her eyes still closed and thinking that she was alone, she started to talk to herself “Of course I have to wake up and of course I have to pee! And of course I can´t go by myself and have to call for help because my stupid body betrayed me. My stupid arm is bound to this stupid metal thing and I can´t even turn around. Why did this happen? I hate my life, I hate It, I hate it, I hate it.” and her eyes were getting teary because she was so frustrated. She was angry at herself and the whole situation she was in.

Suddenly she felt a hand carefully squeezing hers and she opened her eyes. The only light source was the sign of the emergency exit, so it was kind of dark and she could only see a silhouette. The shape of a person she knew by heart. And she couldn´t believe it. Could it be true? Was she really here? Was it really her? Was she still dreaming?

Maya opened her mouth but no words came out. She literally couldn´t speak.

“Maya”

It was her voice. Carina was here. She wasn´t dreaming. And suddenly Maya didn´t know how to feel. She felt hot and cold at the same time. She still had this physical reaction to Carina like she had never left her. Did she come back for her? Carina was really sitting right next to her. Carina who left her without saying were she went. Carina who she never thought she would see again. Maya wasn´t mad at her. The anger has passed a long time ago. But the frustration she felt about her body just moments ago turned into shame. She was ashamed that Carina now saw her like this. Weak. Broken. Unlovable. She still didn´t know what to say. What does one say to the person they once thought was the love of their life? To the person who was gone for almost three years and suddenly reappeared out of nowhere? She had talked about Carina with her therapist. Like a lot. But they never talked about how to handle the situation if Carina would come back, sitting next to her hospital bed in the middle of the night. That was a scenario that understandably never came up. What should she do now?

Since Maya still hadn´t said anything at all Carina spoke first without letting go of Mayas hand. All she said was a soft “Ciao Bella” and tears were starting to roll down her face.

It was like time stood still. Neither of them said a word. They were still holding hands and their eyes where adjusting to the dimmed lights and all Maya could do was stare at Carina. Carina was back.

But after a while Mayas body reminded her why she had woken up and she had to break the silence “Carina, I´m sorry but…” “Of course, you want me to leave. I´m sorry that I´ve showed up unannounced. I going to leave you alone. I´m sorry Maya, I just wanted to help…” - “Don´t leave! Please don´t. But Carina I´m sorry, I… I just really have to pee.”

And with that it felt like the awkward tension was gone. They giggled while they waited for the nurse Maya had called.

But as soon as Maya slowly got up and the nurse helped her to go to the bathroom the relieve Carina had felt, the relieve that Maya hadn´t pushed her away quickly turned into worry again. Maya was a small person by nature, but with all the weight she had lost she looked tiny. Tiny and lost. There was no way she was going to leave her alone in this situation. She wasn´t going to leave her again.

When Maya got back to bed Carina sat up and looked straight into her eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes. “Maya, Andy offered me to stay in her guest room for as long as I want. I´m going to unpack some things, take a shower and I also need to get some sleep. I´m sure Andy has gotten home by now, she brought my dog with her. I will go for a walk with Betty and I have to make some calls. After that I´m coming back. Maya and if you´re ready you can tell me what happened to you. If not, it is fine with me as well. I can tell you about my new house, my job or Betty. Or if you don’t want to hear any of it, we can just sit here and not talk at all. But Maya, I can´t leave you alone like this. Is it alright with you if I come back?”

For a few seconds Maya said nothing. Carina was unsure what was going to happen but then Maya started speaking “I really want you to be here. I´ve missed you. You cannot imagine how much I missed you. But Carina please don´t get my hopes up. If you say you´re coming back, I really need you to come back. Otherwise it will break me completely.”

Carina was amazed that Maya was being that open about her feelings. “I will. Give me a few hours and I´m back. I promise.” she said.

“You have a dog?” Maya asked.

“Sì”

“I want to know everything about her. Is she cute? I´m sure she is. Please bring some pictures” Maya said with a small smile on her face. Carina sensed that Maya wasn´t going to be ready to talk about herself today, but she would give her some time and it was going to be a start.

“I will. And once you´re out of here I can´t wait for you to meet her.”

With that Carina got up, squeezed Mayas hand once more and went to leave the hospital room. When she opened the door, she heard Maya quietly say five simple words which completely warmed her heart “Thank you for coming back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoy writing this story. And with all of your nice feedback i enjoy it even more :)
> 
> So thank you all again for reading this Story.


	10. You won´t lose me again

It´s been over two weeks now since Carina had decided to stay with Maya to help her though this. She was laying in the bed of Andys and Roberts guest room and thought about the last days with Maya.

On the first day, when she came back on the early afternoon, she could feel how tense Maya was. Like she didn´t really believe that she would come back, but she relaxed soon after Carina sat next to her. Carina had brought some vegetable soup which she had bought in their favorite restaurant. She didn´t force Maya to eat. She just put her soup together with a spoon on the table next to her bed and started to eat her own. It was a comfortable silence with just Carina eating. After about 10 minutes Maya took her spoon and looked at her soup as if it was mount Everest and she needed to climb it. She couldn’t bring herself to start. Carina saw her struggle and quietly said “One step at a time Maya. I eat a spoonful of soup and then you try it, ok?” All Maya could do was nod. Carina ate but Maya couldn’t. It took Carina quite a few more sips before Maya at least tasted the soup. She didn´t ate much more that afternoon, but Carina was feeling that she made a huge step forward. Like she expected it in the morning they didn´t talk about the accident that day. But Carina told Maya everything about Betty and how much she loved that dog. She showed her some pictures and videos on her phone. The conversation was very light and she was happy seeing Maya smiling again.

Over the next few days Mayas food intake slowly increased. Her doctors were pleased with her progress and told them that if she would continue like this and regain strength they could soon start with the operations. Those were good news for Maya. Putting the fear of what would happen to her if hear arm wouldn’t heal properly aside, all Maya wanted was to leave this hospital. Their conversations were getting deeper, Carina told her everything about her new life in California and Maya finally opened up and told her about the fire and how she was trapped under the beam and how she thought she would die that day. 

After visiting Maya, Carina caught up with some of her old friends and colleagues. Everyone was happy for her and that she found her new home. There were no hard feelings and almost everyone was understanding. Andy and Robert were great hosts. They made it so easy for her. They even took Betty with them at work. And the dog loved it. Since she was the cutest dog on earth - in Carinas eyes at least, everyone wanted to pet her and play with her and Betty loved all the attention. Carina did begin to miss her little house. To miss her work and the ocean. But she didn´t regret her decision to come to Seattle. She knew it was the right thing to do. And seeing Maya getting better was worth it. Maya. Seeing her everyday had her daydreaming about the two of them together. And sometimes it felt like no time has passed. Like the last three years didn´t happen. Like Maya was still hers.

And then there was today. Today Maya had poured her heart out. After following their routine of the last days with the alternate eating, Maya put her food aside and started talking. She couldn´t look at Carina, so all she did was starring at her hands when she told her everything she was feeling, everything she needed to get off of her chest: “The day you left I thought I wouldn´t make it. I was a mess. And that feeling stayed there for a long time. I tried to call you, I texted you, I didn´t know where you went and it made me crazy to not know if you were even in this country anymore. And I was angry Carina, I was so angry and hurt. I know your brother had died and you felt it was the only way to deal with it. Cutting all ties was your solution. And I know that we´ve talked about it and you tried to explain it to me, but Carina: For me not knowing where you were and if you were okay, had me live in constant fear that something happened to you. And you not getting back to me made me question everything we had. I had the feeling that I had no saying in this. That you made the decision to leave me no matter the outcome. I was devastated. But I stayed in therapy as you know and I talked about you with her, and she made me understand that everyone handles grieve differently. That it was your way to handle the situation and that you didn´t do it to hurt me but to safe yourself. I just wished we would have kept contact, that you wouldn´t had shut me out completely. Carina I thought of you as the love of my life and since you once told me, we should be honest to each other: you still are. Carina I tried to unlove you, if this is even a thing, but it didn´t work. You helped me to become a better person. I don’t know how much Andy has told you. But I talked with my mom, we´re going out every other month to talk about our past. And I found a way to lead my team as a good captain. Station 19 is my family more than ever. And now” with that she pointed at her arm “I will lose this family like I have lost you. I won´t be able to do my job anymore. They will get a new captain. And I´m all alone again. I cannot bear another loss Carina. Losing you was already enough. I cannot take anymore losses. That´s why I stopped eating. I know it´s stupid. I was a fighter all my life. But Carina I fought so hard for us and it didn´t work. I´m afraid this will happen all over again.” And with that Maya just lost it and started sobbing uncontrollably.

Carina who needed to process everything, she just heard sat on Mayas bed and pulled her into a careful hug to not hurt her arm. “I´m so sorry Maya. So so sorry. Maya you won´t lose your family. They appreciate you as a captain, I´m sure of that, but they love you because you are you. Because you are Maya. Their loyal friend Maya. Maya who they can count on. Maya, even if you cannot do your job anymore, which you don´t know by now, you won´t lose them. You´re not going to be alone” Mayas breath slowly evened out. Letting all of this out must have been exhausting and Carina noticed that she was falling asleep in her arms. She carefully let her down to rest. She was relieved that she didn´t have to talk about her own feelings towards her right away. That she would actually get some time to think about everything Maya just told her. So she got up, wrote Maya a note that she would be back tomorrow and left.

And now she was laying in bed with her eyes open, staring at the ceiling and it hit her. It just hit her. She got up and drove to the hospital again and rushed into Mayas room.

“Carina? What happened?” Maya asked still half sleep and concerned since it was very late and she didn´t expected Carina to be back tonight.

“Come with me! Come with me to California.”

“Wait what? Carina, what are you talking about?”

“Of course, I mean not now. But once you´re done with your surgeries and you´ve got rid of this metal cage around your arm. Get out of this city, take some time off and come stay with me for a while to let your body heal. The ocean will help you clear your mind. You will find your way and I´m going to help you.” And with a smile on her face she continued “Please think about it. Let me help you Maya. I have to go back home in a few days, but you don´t have to do this alone. You won´t lose me again.”

“Are you… are you sure?”

“Sì, I´m sure.”

All they did was smile at each other. After a while Carina said good bye for the second time this day and went back to her temporary home. They would have to discuss all the details later, but it felt good, it felt right. Carina was peacefully falling asleep that night.

She was falling in love again.


	11. I´m so glad you came

After she had asked Maya to live with her for a while, Carina stayed in Seattle for another week before she went home to California. She was happy to be back home and to be back at work. It was getting harder and harder for her to imagine to ever move to another place again. Betty loved all the space. She could let her out without being afraid that she would be hit by a car. This really was her home. Just one thing was missing. Or rather someone.

Three months has passed since her short stay in Seattle. She had talked to Maya over the phone almost every day and they were facetiming as often as they could. They had sent each other little presents back and forth and Carina remembered the day when she found this little mix of pastries from her favorite bakery in Seattle and how she had no idea how Maya had managed to get them there. Either way, she loved the surprises.

She had made the right decision to go to Seattle to help Maya to pass this dark episode. It wasn´t about giving Maya another chance. It wasn´t her fault that their ways had parted that long ago. It was the circumstances that made them have this almost three-year long break. That was how she was thinking about it. A break. A break for her to grieve and heal, for Maya to go through therapy and find herself, and for them to grow. All of this was about giving them as a couple another chance. Carina loved Maya. That she was sure about and she felt that Maya loved her too.

Although Carina was sure about her feelings, she was preparing the guest room. She didn´t want to push Maya into something which might felt too soon for her. She knew Maya by heart and she knew that some situations overwhelmed her easily, so she wanted to have at least the possibility to give her all the space she would need.

Maya was doing great. She was eating normal again and since her body was so strong and in good shape, she regained her strength in a time where even the doctors were impressed. She had two small skin transplantations on her upper leg and her back, which are almost perfectly healed by now. Her arm was another story. She was not in pain anymore, but she was still not sure if she would ever regain full functionality to it. By now she could move her fingers, but sometimes it seems like she wasn´t in control of them. Also grabbing stuff seemed impossible on some days. But with Carina, Maya had the right amount of optimism by her side. Although she was constantly worried what would happen if her arm would stay like this, she stuck to physical therapy and did everything she could to improve the mobility of her arm.

Carina was standing in the kitchen to prepare dinner. She already had set the table and she was pleased how pretty the little dining area looked. The moment she put the pasta into the boiling water she heard a car approaching. But this time she wasn´t worried who would show up on a late evening. She was excited. She opened the door, saw the taxi driving away and Maya coming closer to her. She had imagined this moment for three months now. Maya let her bags fall to the ground as soon as she was at Carinas door and hugged her as tight as she could. As if her life was depending on it. “Ciao Bella.” and with a large smile on her face Carina wanted to go inside to take care of dinner, but Maya wasn´t letting go of her yet “I´ve missed you so much” she said with a soft voice and Carinas heart just melted. She took Maya by the hand and went inside. She showed her the house and Betty was running towards them. When Carina was in Seattle, she couldn´t bring her to the hospital so it was the first time Maya and Betty actually met. But it was love at first sight. And when Maya pulled a little dog toy out of her pocket it was set. Betty had chosen Maya over Carina for that night. She followed her even to the bathroom. Maya loved that dog. After they had dinner, Maya was helping Carina to clean up the kitchen. When she was going to bring her the plates, she passed the painting. The painting she gave Carina three years ago. Only days before her whole life changed. Carina saw Maya in the hallway not moving and with a slight concern she asked “Maya, what are you thinking?” “How lucky I am that I am here with you after everything that happened to us. That you are here with me.” She brought the dishes into the kitchen and put them into the sink. Without even thinking about it Carina kissed her on her cheek “Thank you Bella”. And then she realized what she just did, turned away and mumbled a shy “sorry”. But Maya grabbed her hand and pulled her closer “Don´t be” and kissed her. It started slow but after a short time they felt the heat rising. Carina put her hands in Mayas back pockets and squeezed her butt firmly. Maya moaned at the sensation.

The went into Carinas bedroom and soon all clothes were gone. Although it has been years since they were intimate, they knew their bodies and what they needed. Carina sucked at that spot on Mayas neck and she knew it would drive her crazy. Maya returned the favor and put all her concentration on Carinas breasts which were more than sensitive by now. On thing led to another and soon after both of them were completely out of breath. Carina was laying on her back, hands behind her head and Maya next to her with her arm around her waist and one leg over her body as if she wanted to tell her, she wouldn´t let her go.

After a while Maya was getting up. “Where are you going?” Carina asked. “I´m going to get us some drinks. We skipped that part after dinner, remember?” and Carina was laughing. When Maya didn´t return, she was getting worried, got up as well and went looking for her.

She found her in the living room. Standing in the middle of the room, wearing one of Carinas shirts and some shorts. She was talking to Betty who was showing her all the tricks she got. They were just adorable. Carina approached her from behind, pressed her front against Mayas back and pulled her into a tight hug.

“I´m so glad you came" she whispered into her ear "I love you, Maya”. Maya got goosebumps all over her body and all she could do was smile. Both of them knew that it wasn´t the end of the road. And that there were still many things they would need to figure out. Hard things. Their jobs, where to live, family. But they knew that they would find a way together. They were sure that they were each other’s person.

"I love you too!" Maya turned around to look Carina in the eyes, kissed her and asked “Now, what do you want to drink?” Carina got closer to give her another soft kiss and with a smirk on her face she answered “White wine please.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone. This was the last chapter of this story. I hope you liked it.
> 
> I love Maya and Carina as a couple and I really hope they´re not ruining them. I´m a bit afraid of what´s about to happen on Thursday in the last episode before the winter break. Fingers crossed.
> 
> And once again I want to thank you for all your feedback :)
> 
> I have some ideas for other stories – including part II of this one and how they went on from where this story ended. You gave me some ideas as we. Thank you for that :)l will try to include them at one point.


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